bingo magic

Have you ever wondered what you could do if you had a magic wand? Well, life would have been a lot easier for all of us, if we could have magical powers for just a day or two! Although the following statement may seem wacky, there is a little bit of magic in the game of bingo. It is true that bingo-related magic will not radically change your life, but it will undoubtedly make it a lot more fun. So, here go a few bingo spells for you to try out. We got them from an old, scary hag who lives outhere in the forests of the East. The hag warned us that whoever uses them must be pure at heart, otherwise this magic may turn their lives into a living hell. So, beware….
1) Do you have a secret crush on your bingo caller? But, he doesn’t even know that you’re alive? We have the perfect remedy for such a problem! A bingo magic spell is all you need in order to make that hunky caller look your way.

Be careful! Although this bingo love spell seems rather harmless, if not carried out exactly as follows, it may result as disastrous and you could fall in love with your own pet!
・The list of ingredients:

1:A yellow candle
2:A pin
3:A dead frog
4:A red paper heart

The method: Swallow the dead frog (we know that it’s disgusting, but you simply must do it). Write the bingo caller’s first name (let’s say: James) on the red paper heart. Then, light up the yellow candle and place the heart under the candle. Take out the pin and stick it in the bottom of the candle three times, pronouncing the bingo caller’s name in reverse seven times (For example: Semaj, Semaj, Semaj…). Blow out the candle and place the paper heart under your pillow for three nights in a row.

That should definitely do the job. On the fourth day, your precious bingo caller will not be able to fall asleep, before confessing his sudden affection for you. If after a week or so your James does not pronounce his undying love for you, the only thing you can do is blame your bad luck in love.

2) Have a certain bingo foe, who just keeps winning non-stop? Want him to lose already and become a winner yourself? Here goes the most perfect solution to your problem. Use the following anti-winner bingo spell, and your success is guaranteed.

Nevertheless, beware! Unless you follow each step of the spell in the most accurate manner, you may never get your wish. This anti-winner bingo spell may turn your foe into a ghost, who will haunt you and blame you for his failure in bingo! And what is even worst, you will never hit a big bingo jackpot again!
・The list of ingredients:

1:a black candle
2:a big mirror
3:a glass of hot water
4:a tasty candy (according to your personal taste)

The method: The following bingo spell should be performed only at night. To enhance its influence you should wait until there is a full moon (but it is not a must). Without taking your eyes off of the mirror, say “Ognib Eof, Ognib Eof, Ognib Eof Raeppasid Ydaerla!!!”. Engrave your bingo-foe’s initials on the black candle and place it in the hot water glass. Throw away the tasty candy (no matter how tasty it is) and take three sips from the hot water. Don’t make a sound for the next 13 seconds!

You have already secured your success. Your bingo-foe will never win at bingo again. Well, maybe sometime in the future he will, but you will not find out about it, so what do you care!

3) Love playing bingo, but there is no bingo hall in your neighborhood? Want someone to open a bingo hall near your house? Well, this wish is definitely easy to fulfill. The following bingo-hall spell will most certainly solve all your bingo-related problems.

However, be cautious. If you happen to mispronounce this spell’s magic chant, bad things may happen to you. We have seen many good-willing bingo aficionados turned into cockroaches, after trying this highly dangerous spell.

・The list of ingredients:

1:a small kitchen knife
2:a black-widow spider
3:a rotten banana
4:a home-made hand cream
The method: This is how it goes. Cut the rotten banana into seven little slices with the small kitchen knife and mix it with the home-made hand cream (to enhance the influence of this magic spell the hand cream should be really stinky, but it is not a must). Spread this unusual mixture over your computer desk using only your left leg’s toes. Now, put the black-widow spider on your head and repeat the following chant three times: “Llah ognib ybraen a tnaw i!!!”. Make sure that you say this chant as loudly as you can.

If this does not get a bingo hall to open in your neighbor’s house in a week or so, we do not know what will. Nevertheless, it should not stop you from visiting your current favorite bingo venue in the meantime. Good Luck!

4) Want to have the same bingo dauber as your friend does, but don’t know how to obtain one? Feel a little bit jealous? There is nothing you want more than having a dauber of the same size and color as your friend’s? Well, cheer up, because we intend to help you. Use the following magic spell to get what you wish for!.

Nevertheless, it is our advice that you be extremely careful with this particular spell. Not only it is powerful and perilous, but many a times it has proved to be mortal if used improperly.
・The list of ingredients:

1:A pair of dirty old jeans.
2:A red pencil.
3:A black candle.
4:A clean blew handkerchief.
The method: The first thing you should do is put on a pair of dirty old jeans. Every experienced bingo magician knows that it always helps to wear a dirty item of clothing (preferably old jeans) when you want to cast a bingo spell. The next step is to write the following words on the blew handkerchief with the red pencil: “Magic dauber come to me, magic dauber help me win, this is what I really want, have no time for foolish taunt.” Fold the handkerchief so it forms a triangle, put it under the black candle and light it up. Let the candle burn for three hours and then blow it out abruptly.

Now, it is very important that after you’re done with these instructions you immediately go to sleep. Otherwise, this magic spell will simply not work. Once you wake up, check under your pillow, because that is where you’ll find the bingo dauber you’ve been after for so long!

5) Wish to play online bingo but afraid to play on a site that in not so willing when it comes to payouts? Want someone to give you a reliable recommendation about an Internet bingo site but don’t know whom to turn to for a decent advice? You’ve come to the right place. Black magic is your only way to achieve your goal. So, do you have the guts to do as we instruct?

Remember our repeated warning. You should be very cautious with this spell, because if not performed correctly, you may never find an online bingo site that is truly committed to its players.
・The list of ingredients:

1:Dead bat’s front teeth
2:A mouse’s tail
3:A golden bracelet
4:A lighter
5:A little bowl
The method: This spell is very easy to perform. All you have to do is mix the dead bat’s front teeth with the mouse’s tail in a little bowl and ignite its content with the lighter. Let the bowl’s disgusting ingredients burn for seven minutes. Then, put the golden bracelet on your left arm, and touch the mixture with your fingers (no matter what hand). Now repeat the following sentence: “I strive for an honest bingo site, that’s why this bowl of crap I choose to ignite.”

This should certainly be enough. When you come home after work tomorrow, a note with an Internet address will be waiting for you on your computer desk. Before you look at it, you must first take a cold shower. When you are done with the shower, read the note. It will say: “The most popular and trusted bingo site is….”.